POST 100: The F Saga Begins

I was about to let this event go on unceremoniously, but then I remembered something that happened about two weeks ago. I think it's post 100 worthy. I will say that for reasons that will become apparent, there are certain details that I can't disclose for the sake of others.

I had been out one night doing a little drinking (not too much I swear). That night, I ended up talking to someone for a pretty long time. It started out about random stuff. Then it moved onto politics (I ended up explaining the power structure of Congress, putting that degree I have to at least a little bit of use). That led to me mentioning I'm gay (we had gotten to why I vote the way I do by this time). I was pretty sober by this time so it wasn't some drunken revelation, I was just feeling particularly open at this time. 

There is also the fact that the two of us had kinda hooked up the weekend after Halloween (emphasis on kinda). That particular night, I was drunk, he was blitzed (I was thinking at the time he might be blacked out). That night wasn't mentioned again...until, that is, the night of this story. 

He ended up asking me if we hooked up that night, and I said yes and proceeded to tell him that story. He told me that he wasn't sure it had actually happened, he had thought it was a dream or something like that (a testament to how drunk he had been those months ago). After having answered a number of quite personal questions myself, I decided it was my turn to ask one. I asked him, point blank, "Are you gay?" Somehow I have never actually asked that of someone, don't know how I managed that. He said yes, with a lot of guilt in his answer. That is most likely because he is in a long-term relationship...with a girl. They have been together for at least a year.

Most of the rest of the conversation was me trying to give him some advice and words of wisdom, such that I have. I did not so much tell him specifically what to do, but I tried to give him at least a little courage, insight, and knowledge as to the consequences of various. He doesn't know how to tell his girlfriend, nor would I in his situation. There is no easy way for him to tell her the truth without her being hurt. I did say that the longer he waits to tell her, the more damaging it would be to them both. I actually led him to a particular blog which is by a guy who has been married for some 20 years (to a woman), has three kids with her, but is gay and recently told her (which you can see HERE). I think this particular blog is something that he needed to see and hopefully he read through it because he is walking down a similar road.

It was a very long night. By the time I got to bed, the night had worn away and dawn was closing in.

This all happened about two weeks ago, I haven't seen him or talked to him since then, so I haven't really followed up. I'm pretty sure I'm still the only person who knows about him. I think I'll probably see him this weekend, probably for the last time (he's moving to, I think, Tennessee), so I'll offer myself as a sympathetic ear and a source of strength should he need it...which he will (at least from some other source if not me). Hopefully I helped him come to terms with who he is, or at least set him on the road to doing so so that he can be who he really is and find some true happiness.