The F Saga: Letter & Response

From Me:

I had a pretty sleepless night a few days ago. It was mainly due to the fact that, rather randomly, I was really concerned. I have been for some time now, but I guess I just reached a boiling point.

One of my major fears for you is that you are going down a road that will only become progressively more difficult to turn away from. I know of so many stories where other people are in/have been in similar situations. A common theme among them being how life would have been different if they had been themselves, especially in their youth. A seemingly endless string of what-ifs are threaded through these stories. Having my own set of what-ifs in life, I know that they tend to leave a sour taste that I would not wish on anyone, least of all people I know. This is definitely something that, like most things in life, is better dealt with sooner than late. I’m really not trying to push overmuch because this is also something best dealt with in ones own time, but the potential damage done (to others as well as yourself) by waiting will only grow, not shrink, with time.

If you ever need someone to speak to, you know how to get a hold of me. I’ve been told I’m a good listener. Even if it isn’t me however, it is best to talk to someone instead of bottling it up inside. That usually doesn’t end particularly well for anyone involved.

From F:

Hey Rob, I'm really comfortable with the choice I've made so nothing to worry about. I appreciate the concern but this isn't a problem I expect to deal with later in my life. It is something I was curious about but really nothing more serious. Good luck in your journey and, again, I appreciate the concern but I am happier with [girlfriend's name] than I ever could be otherwise.

I would believe him except for one not-so-minor detail. When I asked him point blank if he was gay, he said yes. He didn't qualify his answer, he wasn't drunk or otherwise of unsound mind, he just said yes. I'm almost inclined to mention that, but that is an incredibly bad idea, so I'm not going there. While I do think his response warrants a response, I'm finding it a bit difficult to do so (it's been a week since his response) without sounding condescending (a very bad habit of mine), or like I'm trying to drag him kicking and screaming out of the closet (which would be counter-productive). Usually, I'm quite the wordsmith, but my forge is ice-cold. You can only help those who want your help I suppose.

Something else I'm thankful for: not having to go through some torturous coming out process. Granted I haven't told the parents (yet), but at least when I actually realized I'm gay, there wasn't really any agonizing about it.