MyTunes Monday: Fly (Bobby Jo Valentine)

One Creepy-Ass Weekend

This is odd: having two fun weekends in a row. My neighbour had some people here from home over the weekend and I spent much of the days hanging out with them. A little drama Saturday afternoon, but it was pretty fun other than that. But I heard a very disturbing story when I got home from work Sunday afternoon. 

Everyone's favourite eunuch, Lord Varys

Because I had to be at work fairly early Sunday morning, I went to bed early Saturday night while everyone else kept hanging out. Really early in Sunday morning - around 5am - one of the guy’s from out of town woke up to a complete stranger that none of us know rubbing his penis. This guy (the stranger) said to our friend that he really wanted to give him a blow job and our friend essentially said get the fuck out. Our friend told my neighbour (with whom he and their crew was staying) about the incident…to his disbelief. A little later he (the out-of-towner) said he didn’t feel comfortable so he went around the place just to be sure. Lo and behold the guy (the stranger) was hiding in a closet. There is so much symbolism with that particular fact. I’m not sure how the story ultimately ended, but I was extremely creeped out. I kept thinking to myself as I heard the story “Had I been awake I would have found the nearest knife and threatened to make this creeper a eunuch if he ever showed up here again.” I feel like that’s the best way to threaten a man, by threatening his…manhood. Living next door, I know where the knives are too.

It’s also very disconcerting that this happened next door to me. To be fair, I had a difficult time keeping my eyes off of this guy (the out-of-towner…he is pretty damned cute), but I had the good sense - even while very inebriated - not to lay a hand on him. This was molestation, pure and simple.

Speaking of knives, I recently acquired a very sharp pocket-knife with which to smite my enemies, so this guy better make sure not to try and take advantage of me. I will cut this bitch.

A Bloody Good Weekend

This past weekend, things happened. Bad decisions were made…and a lot of fun was had.

Friday started innocently enough. I went over to a neighbour’s place and had a drink. Then they proposed a game. They were playing an NHL video game and every time someone scored we took a shot. Every time a period went by where no one scored, we took a shot. Did I mention they were shots of cinnamon vodka? They were shots of cinnamon vodka. We did this for two games. Everything was fine for a while. I remember some other people coming by later in the afternoon. I remember who they were (they were people I knew). But at some point, the lights just went out. Apparently I was hilarious that evening, but I don’t remember. I don’t even remember the Sun setting. Everyone else who was there was going to another thing and I had to be at work at 7am the next morning. Luckily, even blacked out, I had enough wits about me to not go with them even though I wanted to. The only thing I remember before my alarm going off at 5:45 am Saturday morning was throwing up quite violently into a trashcan next my bed and then turning back over exhausted from that ordeal (keep this detail in mind, I’ll circle back to it soon). Having not eaten much on Friday was probably not a good idea either.

Then my alarm clock went off. 5:45am. I knew that wasn’t happening. I reset it for 30 minutes later, this time feeling quite a bit better. The puking probably got a lot of the alcohol out of my system. Given that the shift I had to work would last about nine hours, this was definitely a good thing. It went surprisingly (and thankfully smoothly. I got back home between four and five that afternoon and hung outside with some people. Then, it happened. At some point mid-afternoon Saturday, I looked in the mirror and did a cartoon style double take. What the fuck was up with my eye. Deduction: subconjunctival hemorrhage. In laymen’s terms (even I had to look that one up), I burst a blood vessel in that eye. When I was throwing up early in the morning, it was violent enough to pop a blood vessel in my eye. This was a personal first. On retrospect, I’m really surprised this has never happened to me before. After the initial shock, I didn’t think too much about it. I don’t even think it was too noticeable. I didn’t see it when I was getting ready for work, nor did any of my coworkers mention it at the time.

That evening I ended up hanging with the same people I was with the night before. This is where I heard I had been hilarious Friday night. Someone told me we took a picture together on my camera…which I didn’t even remember having on myself at all. (In the ensuing days, I’m pretty sure the subject of oral sex came up, but I haven’t asked whether or not it actually happened…curiosity is getting the better of me though) There were quite a few stories from their night as well, like a girl falling and hitting her head (it’s not as bad as it sounds) and when a guy tried to help her up, he fell in the mud too. Funny stories, but it’s still good I didn’t go given my work hours. I ended up drinking Saturday too, but FAR more controlled…and I actually got some food in me before starting to drink. We walked to a party a few hours later. Nothing of note happened but I had a good time. One of the girls we were with did end up making out with this really cute guy. Either she was going to get him or I would (lucky bitch, but I’m totally not bitter…). Ended up going back to my neighbour’s place and then back to mine shortly after (sometime between 2 and 3am…I think). Another early/long day (8am-4pm). I was tired at work but no headaches or anything serious.

Did I mention that Oberyn (right) is bisexual?

That night I went to a coworker’s birthday get-together at a local restaurant/bar. It was import night (half off imports). After the weekend I had, it’s a wonder that I got through the one beer I got through. I didn’t stay there too long though. The most important event of the weekend was still ahead: the season four premiere of “A Game of Thrones.” I’ll just say that Oberyn Martell is awesome and Arya Stark is the Alpha dog. It was a great start to what will be another great season and a great end to what was the most eventful weekend I have had in ages.

Epilogue: I didn't get out of bed until noon on Monday. That rest was well needed and well deserved.

MyTunes Monday: Like the Way (Aer)

MEAT!!!

About two days after Mardi Gras, I realized that I hadn't decided what I was giving up for Lent. usually I have this thought out in advance, but Mardi Gras snuck up on me this year. I thought it started March 11th, and I was off by a week. Then I noticed that I hadn't had meat since before fat tuesday, so that ended up being this year's sacrifice. It isn't a significant part of my food intake anyway so I didn't think anything of it.

Cut to three weeks later...

I want meat. I REALLY want it. Even though I didn't think much of it at the time I decided to forego it, making something forbidden makes it that much more tempting. I realized a day or two ago that I still have three more weeks to go before meat is back on the menu. That was a very depressing thought. I promised myself I would get a big, juicy burger when Lent is over. Of course that just makes me that less patient for this to be over.