One Creepy-Ass Weekend

This is odd: having two fun weekends in a row. My neighbour had some people here from home over the weekend and I spent much of the days hanging out with them. A little drama Saturday afternoon, but it was pretty fun other than that. But I heard a very disturbing story when I got home from work Sunday afternoon. 

Everyone's favourite eunuch, Lord Varys

Because I had to be at work fairly early Sunday morning, I went to bed early Saturday night while everyone else kept hanging out. Really early in Sunday morning - around 5am - one of the guy’s from out of town woke up to a complete stranger that none of us know rubbing his penis. This guy (the stranger) said to our friend that he really wanted to give him a blow job and our friend essentially said get the fuck out. Our friend told my neighbour (with whom he and their crew was staying) about the incident…to his disbelief. A little later he (the out-of-towner) said he didn’t feel comfortable so he went around the place just to be sure. Lo and behold the guy (the stranger) was hiding in a closet. There is so much symbolism with that particular fact. I’m not sure how the story ultimately ended, but I was extremely creeped out. I kept thinking to myself as I heard the story “Had I been awake I would have found the nearest knife and threatened to make this creeper a eunuch if he ever showed up here again.” I feel like that’s the best way to threaten a man, by threatening his…manhood. Living next door, I know where the knives are too.

It’s also very disconcerting that this happened next door to me. To be fair, I had a difficult time keeping my eyes off of this guy (the out-of-towner…he is pretty damned cute), but I had the good sense - even while very inebriated - not to lay a hand on him. This was molestation, pure and simple.

Speaking of knives, I recently acquired a very sharp pocket-knife with which to smite my enemies, so this guy better make sure not to try and take advantage of me. I will cut this bitch.