Dreams of Steel

If you've been reading this blog over the last year or so, you know I'm a huge fan of "A Song of Ice & Fire" (a.k.a. A Game of Thrones). I'm currently watching the third season and rereading the third book, "A Storm of Swords." I have also watched lots of clips on YouTube and watched some episodes on DVD. It's such a great story. However, a problem has arisen over the last few weeks. The story is starting to mess with my dreams.

Last week, I had a dream where I was literally fighting for my life. I was on the verge of being killed by two men. I was screaming for help but no one came. I was defending myself by any means which I could...which was not much. When I finally awoke in the middle of the night, I was drenched in sweat, heaving for oxygen. You can probably guess that I didn't get back to sleep, meaning I got less than four hours that night.

The following night I had another dream yet not nearly as bad, though it was not nearly as bad. In this dream, instead of fighting for my own life, I had just heard about a family members death and was deeply in mourning. I awoke in the middle of the night again, yet not with the start of the previous night. I didn't even bother trying to get back to sleep this time, so I had a rough 48 hours (at least).

I had another such dream last night, but this one escapes my memory. I do remember, however, that it was unpleasant.

I'm almost at the end of the book and there are four more episodes left this season. As good as the story is, I need a break. It's taking too much of a toll on my sleep cycle, which is negatively effecting how productive I am during the day.

With Great Power...

I just had a dream (not sure when I'll end up posting this, but I started writing this at 5:14 AM) that my sister and I were both on a television show called "No Ordinary people." The basic premise of the show is that it's was pretty much an X-Men live-action television show. During the part of the dream that I recall, we were watching on the street as a house was being floated down the road many feet up in the air as people stared in awe (it was supposed to be a display of someone's power) until it collided with another building at the end of the block. At the end of the scene, the character I was playing fainted in slow motion (which seemed to take forever to land). The strangest aspect was that at the beginning of the dream, it seemed like reality but towards the end, someone yelled cut and I realized (from an external perspective) that we were merely filming. 

Then I heard everyone around us clapping and celebrating. I guess that was a wrap on taping that episode. Craft Services had quite a spread, but it was a lot of sweets. Lots of sugary pastries and such. Then I woke up, probably because of the howling winds outside. Now I have the Herculean task of trying to get back to sleep...which never works out well.

I would have enjoyed the dream more if I had actually had powers in it... :(

In the Still of the Night

I don't know what was going on in my head last night, but I had some dreams that were...interesting. I don't really recall specifics, but just general things.

In the first one I was graduating from high school...except it wasn't my actual graduation. I remember all of us lined up walking towards our seats outside in the grass, we were all wearing white graduation gowns (or whatever they're called), and we were wearing leis. This was very unlike my real graduation which was in our gym, I was wearing a blue gown, and there was absolutely nothing Hawaiian about it. This dream wasn't particularly strange...

The second dream, however, was. In this dream, I was a dad. A young, single, dad with a little girl. Who was the mother? The hell if I know. This was strange because I still have my gold star (for some reason, that's a source of pride...which makes zero sense). We were at some gathering of some sort. My cousin Kelly was there and I remember him asking me how I was fairing. I said something to the tune of "I'm in WAAAAY over my head." In reality, being a single parent would scare the crap out of me. I don't know how people do it.

By the way, my little girl was quite well behaved (she only cried once and for a very short time for such a long dream) and she was totally adorable (just like her daddy).

This was such a rambling post, but this is how I remember dreams on the rare occasions that I remember them I'm not sure what time I'll actually post this but I wrote this right after I woke up - 7:30 am - so I would actually remember the dreams.

A Tease From the Mind

I'm pretty sure this happens to everyone. You are asleep. You are dreaming. And it is a good dream. Scratch that, it is a GREAT dream. Something you think is outside of your grasp in reality just drops into your lap, and it makes you unbelievably happy. Then, just as suddenly as it appears, it is ripped away from you. Someone or something grabs you out of that beautiful dream. As you realize that it was all an illusion, you are gripped by a mixture of sadness and anger.

This is what happened to me this morning. I have mentioned on this blog before a guy I simply called "N." The Cliff's Notes version of that story is that he is a guy I fell for hard and fast and I'm still not really over him. Every time I see him, relapse central. Anyway, back to the story. I had a dream about him. Nothing salacious, but what was good about it is that we were in bed together. I remember turning towards him and touching his hand and just caressing it. Both of us were smiling and rarely have a felt as happy in my waking life as I did at that moment. Then, the bane of my existence, my alarm clock, ripped me out of that happy moment. That mix of anger and sadness was on me immediately.

Of course this is not the first time this has happened to me. It has happened a number of times. Every time, it is extremely frustrating. But when I think about it, at least in terms of the big picture, I have to wonder if some part of my mind is telling me something. I suppose I could say I have a hunch as to what I was to get from this particular incident, but it requires some context. At some point, hopefully in the near future, I'll tell the story (such as it is) between he and I, although I hope/don't think that story has had its conclusion yet.

Flash Back

Every once in a while, I have a dream that takes place at some point in my past. Last night was one of those times. For me, these are some of the worst dreams I can have. The reason is that, like a lot of people (I suppose), I have this deep-seated desire to go back and relive my past in order to fix the major mistakes. It's a very unshakable and consuming desire.

Sometimes when you are in the midst of a dream, you realize that, or have a hunch that, you are dreaming. Such was the case in this dream last night and I tried to wake myself out of it. No dice. This led some part of my mind to think that I was not, in fact dreaming...that I had in fact gone back. A few minutes later, I actually did wake up (in the middle of the night) with this tremendous sense of disappointment and betrayal. I had been tricked, by myself, into thinking that one of my greatest wishes had come true only to find out it hadn't.

~

The reason I ended up wake from this dream probably has something to do with the storms that rolled through the area during the night. The wind was howling, it sounded like an Indian monsoon, and thunder that sounded like bombs exploding.

Both in my mind, and in the real world, it was a tumultuous night.