Post #200: Losing At Life

I haven't really written a actual post lately (except the one on Sunday). Mostly, laziness. That and I actually put more into my political blog (though I need to write more there too). Anyway, I still somehow managed to make it to 200. Since it's also near the end of the year, I guess a year in review is in order.

I remember thinking at the end of 2010 "good riddance." That year was fraught with heartache and general unpleasantness. I glad to see that year go and another one begin. So what am I thinking at the end of 2011? Meh. That's pretty much it, and that's the optimistic look back at the year. There were almost no substantive changes in my life this year besides making a foray into the world of blogging. Other than that, this year was full of inertia.

This has been getting to me, especially in the last few weeks. Things could definitely be worse: health failure, losing my job, all that kind of stuff. Looking at the big picture, I have it okay (especially given the hard times this country is in). Having said that, I have gotten to the point where I need to make a change, and a big one, and relatively soon. The job that I have is something that I dread going to even though it pays the bills. The only thing that keeps me sane there is some of the people that work there, but that doesn't help as much as it used to. I need to do something where I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something or helping someone. That is what I always wanted to do and, somewhere along the way, I lost that.

There is also the loneliness factor. Generally during the day I can keep my head above water. I can find something to occupy my time (this is another reason I can put up with my job: it kills a few hours). At night however, when the lights are down, the computer is off, and all I have are my thoughts, that's when it gets bad.

So here is the hope for 2012: that this is the year I start accomplishing some goals. It's time to move on (well, it's waaaaay past time). This will be the year I start making a difference. This is the time I can put what knowledge I have to use. This is the year that everything changes, and hopefully for the better.

So this post, which should have been celebratory was pretty much a downer. I would much rather end on a high note:

You're Welcome.

MyTunes Monday: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

In the Still of the Night

I don't know what was going on in my head last night, but I had some dreams that were...interesting. I don't really recall specifics, but just general things.

In the first one I was graduating from high school...except it wasn't my actual graduation. I remember all of us lined up walking towards our seats outside in the grass, we were all wearing white graduation gowns (or whatever they're called), and we were wearing leis. This was very unlike my real graduation which was in our gym, I was wearing a blue gown, and there was absolutely nothing Hawaiian about it. This dream wasn't particularly strange...

The second dream, however, was. In this dream, I was a dad. A young, single, dad with a little girl. Who was the mother? The hell if I know. This was strange because I still have my gold star (for some reason, that's a source of pride...which makes zero sense). We were at some gathering of some sort. My cousin Kelly was there and I remember him asking me how I was fairing. I said something to the tune of "I'm in WAAAAY over my head." In reality, being a single parent would scare the crap out of me. I don't know how people do it.

By the way, my little girl was quite well behaved (she only cried once and for a very short time for such a long dream) and she was totally adorable (just like her daddy).

This was such a rambling post, but this is how I remember dreams on the rare occasions that I remember them I'm not sure what time I'll actually post this but I wrote this right after I woke up - 7:30 am - so I would actually remember the dreams.

Tim Tebow's War on Christmas

Tuba Players: The New Drummers

As an out and proud band geek (not that I've played in years...sad face), I found everything about this story hilarious.

Also, French Horns>Tubas. If didn't know that before, now you do :)

Making Time

Short post here. I actually have some stuff to put down here, I just haven't made the time yet. Hopefully I'll get to it sooner than later. I've never been good at time management :(

Woof Wednesday: Jamie Bamber

MyTunes Monday: Free

Woof Wednesday: Joshua Bowman

Joshua Bowman (from ABC's "Revenge")

MyTunes Monday: Club Foot (Live)